My Grandmother's Rape Humor

http://bln.gs/b/26bdsn Last night my grandmother Jamillah Muhammad went to a party thrown by her friends because she's moving to Chicago soon. And of all the fun jokes they made from 7:30pm to after 1am, my grandmother comes to me and tells me about a joke her friend named Wanda made about rape. She said that before she dies, she wants a man to rip her panties off and rape her. This joke was so funny, she cried laughing. And my grandmother told me all these old women were talking about what they do on Facebook and I'm thinking "out of everything you guys talked about the whole night, you thought to tell me about rape humor?" My grandmother is aware of my targeting, told me "you know what side I am on," and when she became upset said "I don't know how this girl was raped and I don't care (talking about me to my mother)...." My grandmother has also gas lit me since I moved in her place this February. (She's moving to Chicago now) I just wanted to post this truth under my family pictures. My grandmother has a wall of accomplishments (rewards) on her wall but, those rewards don't tell a real story about how her children grew up. Earlier this year my grandmother told me she's always ran with a pack of wolves and she said my mom did, too. What kind of grandmother adds her daughter to a statement like that? My mother started selling her body for money at the age of 13 maybe younger so, the fact that she would brag about that proves that she has no common sense. I brought a shirt that said "Leader of the Wolf Pack" while I worked for UPS fall 2012. To go on a job being mobbed, sodomized and gas lit and wear a shirt just to boost your confidence and have your grandmother who helps gas light you take that from you is cruel. It is me against hundreds of people because I am that strong and powerful and my grandmother took the shirt and trashed it, knowing it gave me confidence. I told my mom that to me it meant that I am a leader and the stalkers are my followers. Look through my baby picture's and my childhood picture's of me with my grandmother (on facebook). I am just pointing out that I am a woman who was a little girl. I am someone's daughter, grand daughter and I do not deserve to be treated like I am a criminal nor am worthy of rape. I'm so used to people making insensitive comments about rape around me or people telling me I walk like an old lady. Try being raped until your vagina rips open and you have open cuts in your vagina. The day I blogged online and said "I have a thick permanent scar of the right side on my vagina," my mother repeated "Deiona has a cut on the right side of her vagina." (but in a funny tone) And I didn't mention anything to her. She is just the only one I trusted enough to show her burns, cuts and swelling on and inside my vagina after sexual assault and burning with direct energy weapons and microwave burn technology. My childhood isn't perfect at all but I didn't think to use my body for money by the age of 13. I don't have the same cravings in my vagina that Cathy o Brien has from being tortured, (Someone craved a smiling face and a butterfly on her vagina) but, I do have scars from being electronically assaulted and I am proud of the scars remaining. It proves it happened and that I survived it. Try walking limping and having perpetrators around you who know you are a torture victim tell you that you limp or walk like an old lady. Rape of any kind is not humorous. I believe with all my heart that not only was it my destiny to become a targeted individual but, I think that God wanted me to reflect on my past, my mother's past and my life now and realize that I was always worthy or REAL LOVE and that love doesn't hurt, is won't wait and it does not allow rape and abuse. A part of me feels like I am my grandmother's destiny. God isn't going to let her die thinking that the papers she has on her wall are her life time legacy. You can't be 'woman of the year' like Hilary Clinton and hide that you ate a girl's mutilated vagina or your own children suffered. http://bln.gs/b/1j0dtu

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7-2013

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